Sometimes it always feels like as a parent we are saying the word "NO" way too much!
Are you tired of saying no? Turn it over to the child or teen! Some may be saying this sounds crazy-- but hear me out.
When we tell our children (of any age) the word no, it seems like there is a secret transmitter telling them to automatically become rebellious. (Especially in public!)
It is a known fact that children and teens need boundaries and structure. This gives you the opportunity to set those very boundaries by giving them a choice. All choices should come in twos, so they are not overwhelmed.
Some examples for little ones:
Would you like the black shorts or the blue shorts?
Would you like to help clean up your room before lunch or after?
Would you like goldfish or fruit for snack?
Once they get a little bit older it can be like:
Choice 1: You can choose to clean your room and continue to have your 30 minutes of screen time..
or
Choice 2: You can choose not to clean your room and lose your screen time for the next 3 days....it's your choice.
Let them choose and be firm! Tell them they have to choose one.
This way they feel like they have the power. They do not have to know that you have the ultimate power. This can be done with all types of things. They will eventually get used to knowing they have to pick one.
The Follow Through
If you are a sports person, I am sure you have heard-It's all in the follow through.
This is so true when dealing with children of any age. Remember to stay firm with the choices you gave them. The minute you give in--they will know this for the next time. Always offer two choices and make sure they are options that will not create more problems. Some kids will decide not to pick either choice. This is where you will pick it for them.
This approach let's the child know that you gave them a chance to choose. It also provides a way for them to start practicing their decision-making skills at a younger age.